Legend

WTF is this movie! I wouldn't say this if it were a tiny indie film or something but it has Tom Cruise in it. I should've been suspicious when I was like wow a famous 80s fantasy adventure movie and yet I've never seen it. Tldr Darkness (Tim Curry in a huge devil suit) wants to take everything over in a snowy Narnia ripoff, some poor-man's-Labyrinth goblins kill a unicorn because a princess touches it (princess of what is never clear; she just prances around the woods with Gollum-style Tom Cruise) and there are a lot of forgettable characters I assume are supposed to provide comic relief but definitely don't. But I don't mind crazy nonsense in a movie. The real offense here is that it's terribly boring. The whole time we're told that there's this terrible urgency and the whole world depends on it, etc. but then the characters just twiddle around the whole time.